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Changing Perspectives

About Changing Perspectives

Unfiltered thoughts on personal growth, self-reflection, and intentional relationships

The Struggle of Not Knowing How to Feel Securely Loved When I’m Not Needed

An exploration of hyper-utility, the safety of being needed, and learning to trust that I am worth keeping when I show up with nothing in my hands.

September 28, 2026
Learning to Give Myself What I Keep Asking From People

I’m learning how to give myself the validation, reassurance and celebration I used to look for from other people. But there’s a part of that growth that scares me: what happens when I get so good at meeting my own needs that I start questioning what relationships are actually adding to my life? This is…

September 21, 2026
I Don’t Have to Know What to Do Yet

We’re often taught that once we realize a relationship isn’t working, we’re supposed to fix it, discuss it, or leave. But what happens when you understand someone completely, no one is necessarily wrong, and you’re still hurt?

August 30, 2026
When Kindness Becomes Insurance for Other People’s Inconsistencies

I’ve spent a lot of time turning my kindness into insurance for other people’s inconsistencies. But what happens when your dependability becomes the thing that keeps someone else from having to show up? A reflection on boundaries, emotional capacity, and learning to let the policy lapse.

August 17, 2026
When Healing Changes the Questions

Sometimes healing doesn’t change the people around us—it changes the questions we ask. This reflection invites readers to explore self-awareness, boundaries, and whether they’re experiencing love, care, and connection in the way they genuinely need.

August 1, 2026
What It Is I Want?

I am sitting in the park on my picnic blanket, beneath a tree, surrounded by silence. Not an uncomfortable silence. Not one that needs to be filled immediately, but the kind that gives my thoughts enough room to find me. And as I sit here, I find myself thinking about what it is I truly…

July 26, 2026
The Muscle I’m Trying to Build

Because understanding it doesn’t always mean I’m done feeling it. “Some days, I feel like I’m in the gym emotionally, trying to exercise muscles I didn’t even know existed.” I’ve been realizing lately that I’m an incredibly impatient healer. Not impatient with people. Impatient with pain. Impatient with uncertainty. Impatient with discomfort. If I understand…

June 30, 2026
I’m Tired of Earning Love

“I used to think love was measured by how much I was willing to carry. Now I’m learning to ask a different question: Does this love also know how to carry me?” I think I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to earn love. Not intentionally. Not consciously. But in the little ways. By…

June 28, 2026
The Boy Who Wanted to Be Chosen

What if our deepest desire isn’t to be attractive, but to be chosen? A personal reflection on trauma, self-worth, and learning to rewrite the stories I’ve carried about myself.

June 23, 2026
The Intimacy Switch: Why I Need Desire to Meet Me, Not Just See Me?

The body that keeps score taught me how not to disappear when love arrives. I spent years searching for desire. Now at 30, I’m learning how not to lose myself when it finds me. Some of us don’t learn how to love by being met. We learn by reaching, and reaching again, into empty air.…

November 30, 2025

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